


Anything Goes

by cordeliadelayne



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Getting Together, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29545281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cordeliadelayne/pseuds/cordeliadelayne
Summary: Clint has been Coulson's problem since the start.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Anything Goes

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the lovely goldarrow's primeval_denial stocking. Uses the prompt “And what exactly did you think was going to happen?”

Coulson didn't know when exactly he became responsible for Clint Barton, but somehow over the past two years whenever there was a problem with Clint, and there were many, Coulson was the first person anyone called. This included Maria Hill who was supposed to be in charge of training the exceptional new recruits, and Clint was definitely one of those.

“He's at it again,” she'd said by way of greeting and Coulson hadn't bothered asking too many questions, just asked for coordinates and how many were dead.

“Empire State Building. No fatalities.”

“The Empi-” Maria Hill hung up the phone before he could finish his question and he spent a few seconds cradling the phone next to his ear trying to decide if he wanted to find out what had happened, or maybe tell Fury to cut their losses and let Clint disappear back into life as a hired assassin.

Of course he knew he would do nothing of the sort, but the idea of having some agency in regards to his feelings towards Clint was reassuring.

Coulson put the phone down and then called out to his assistant to ask if there was anything on the news wires about the Empire State Building. She came back almost immediately with the look on her face he recognised as something weird was happening but not quite SHIELD weird.

“What did he do?”

“Best we can tell, he tried to parachute off the building.”

There was a long beat of silence as he and Kendra looked at each other and tried to decide what this might mean.

“Is he on a mission?”

“No, sir.”

“Is the Widow on a mission?”

“With Agent Sitwell in Milan.”

Coulson nodded and slowly got up and put on his jacket.

“Where is he now?”

“Being kept at the Empire State building.” Kendra hesitated, brushed a lock of hair away from her face, and then stood up straight. “I understand they want to transfer him into your custody as quickly as possible. Something to do with – with er - “

“With what?” Coulson asked, absently checking that he had his phone, his gun and some headache tablets on hand.

“With nudity, sir.”

Coulson looked up at that. “With – what?”

“It's my understanding that he was, he was attempting to parachute naked. Sir.” Then she handed over her standard issue SHIELD tablet and played a video that was apparently making the rounds on social media.

“I see,” Coulson said. And he did see, quite a lot of Clint in fact. “Thank you, Kendra. I'll be out of the office for the rest of the day.”

Kendra nodded and disappeared back to her desk while Coulson fervently wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

* * * * *

“I'm trying to understand exactly what you thought was going to happen?” Coulson asked. He sat down and rubbed a hand across his face. This was definitely one of the days he didn't get paid enough to deal with.

Clint shifted in his chair and shrugged.

 _”Clint._ ”

“Promise you won't get mad.”

Coulson just raised an eyebrow.

“Tony Stark asked me to test something for him.”

“Tony Stark?” Coulson repeated. “I didn't realise you two knew each other.”

Clint shrugged. “I get around.”

Coulson decided to ignore that for the moment. “Test what, exactly?”

“A new parachute.”

“And the Empire State Building?”

“My idea,” Clint said.

“And the nakedness?” Coulson said, trying to look anywhere but at Clint who, thankfully, had been given some clothes before Coulson had arrived.

“Air resistance.”

Coulson did look at Clint then and tried not to laugh at Clint's expression. “You're pulling my leg.”

Clint grinned. “You're too easy, boss.”

Coulson smiled and shook his head. “I'm getting too old for this. What really happened?”

“Maria Hill said Stark had a new toy to test out and I may as well test out security here while I was at it. I didn't ask any questions. She said you'd be coming to get me.”

“And she suggested you did this naked, did she?” Coulson actually wouldn't put it past her, but it was always best to have the exact details put on record for the files.

Clint was looking at Coulson with an intense expression on his face that was starting to make Coulson feel uncomfortable. Or, well, not uncomfortable exactly, but something he definitely shouldn't be thinking about a subordinate.

“That was my idea.”

Coulson coughed to cover his embarrassment. “Right, well, let's get you out of here then.”

“Back to HQ?”

Coulson hesitated a fraction. He'd told his assistant he'd be out of the office all day so there was no rush to head back now and there was nothing pressing that he had to deal with. Still, he had to be sure.

“Was this, has this all been - “ Coulson thought back to the last few months, all the times he'd ended up getting Clint out of impossible situations. More than half of them had ended up with Clint in some sort of half dressed state. “Oh, was this some sort of -”

Clint rubbed at the back of his neck. “My next trick was going to be asking you out to dinner.”

“I'm curious why that wasn't your first trick?”

“That would have worked?” Clint asked, looking genuinely confused.

Coulson was about to say of course it would but no, he wouldn't have believed it if Clint had just asked him out, he'd have assumed it was some kind of hazing for the new guy and would have gone out of his way to make sure that Clint wasn't put in that position again. He'd probably have gone so far as to reassign himself so he no longer got to see any of Clint's training.

Clint shifted in his seat. “Sir?”

“Don't – don't. Just, hang on.” Coulson took out his phone and pressed #1. “Clint's jumping three levels right?...Unless you want me to tell him how you really lost your eye....You kiss your mother with that mouth?...I'm taking the weekend.”

“Was that Director Fury?” Clint asked. “I didn't know you two were that close.”

Coulson grinned. “I get around.” He put the phone away and stood up. “You want to get out of here?”

Clint, looking wrong footed and slightly bemused, stood up. “Sure. Where we heading?”

Coulson looked Clint up and down and smiled as Clint preened under the attention; Coulson doubted he was even aware he was doing it.

“I've got a place nearby. If you're up for it?”

“You know me, Coulson. Up for anything.”

Coulson ignored the flush he could feel creeping up his neck and motioned for Clint to follow him out of the security office and onto the tourist filled sidewalk. Up for anything could lead to a lot of trouble.

But if nothing else joining SHIELD had taught Coulson that being up for anything was really the only way to live this life. And if this was the only life he was going to get, there were worse ways of spending it than getting to know the elusive Hawkeye.

Judging by the way Clint settled himself against Coulson's side as they hopped into a taxi, and the way his hand rested on Coulson's thigh the whole way to Coulson's apartment, Clint was definitely on the same page.

The eager way that Clint pushed Coulson up against the bedroom door and kissed him breathless definitely sealed the deal.  



End file.
